The good girl archetype is obsolete and every day is Women’s Day.
I mean, we women are going places, smashing internal and external glass ceilings, and reframing our narrative.
But again, that archetype is only obsolete in theory.
Why?
Raise your hand if you
–Have trouble saying no to friends, family and colleagues
–Shy away from conflict even when you know you’re right
–Think taking time out for yourself is wasteful
–Have trouble standing up for yourself when people don’t show you the respect you deserve
Also, raise your hand if you had a running ticker in your head going “…but women shouldn’t do all these. That’s not lady-like.”
Ladies, it’s time to reclaim your boundaries.
How to reclaim and set boundaries consistently
1. Let your personal preferences and wellbeing guide you
Sounds like the most obvious thing doesn’t it?
But I’ll be honest, it took me a long time to acknowledge my preferences and realize I can have boundaries to set.
The first step is understanding what you’re willing to let slide, and which are hard “nos.”
Next, repeat after me: “Boundaries are helpful and I deserve to reclaim mine.”
2. Communicate your boundaries
As much as we’d like to our spouses, family members, friends and colleagues to be mind readers, they’re not.
So communicating your boundaries is on you – don’t chicken out, you can do this!
3. Enforce them consistently
Once you’ve put them out in the world, stand by them.
If going all out scares you (it’s normal), take small steps everyday. The next thing you know, you’ll be so much better at communicating and enforcing your boundaries.
Confidence comes from competence, so keep going.
4. Don’t let the fear of “not belonging” stop you
As human beings, we always desire to be liked by those around us.
Sure, it’s okay to do nice things for people you care about. But when you operate from a place of crushing your own sovereignty to serve others, that’s when you’ll be in trouble.
Breaking out of the “people pleasing” cycle is tough – but once you start understanding your core values and bask in the headspace that comes from not being the “yes” woman, you’ll be happy to do it more often.